[ Like any proud father should. He leans in to take a good look, blinking quickly when he notices the weird red dog. He's fought symbiote dragons before, so yes, Lin Lie can recognize that kind of alien; the teeth are a giveaway. He's never seen one red before, though. ]
I mean this in the least insulting way possible, but your second daughter looks like a symbiote hyena. [ WHY IS THAT??? goes unsaid, but Lin Lie's face says it all. ] They both look really happy, so good job on the parenting.
[ See, he can say nice things too. ]
Sure, why not. I'll keep the card. I doubt I'd need any mercenary services now, but it will help me believe this is a real thing you're all doing. Does Taskmaster wear a very distinctive suit or something?
Hyena...? Is that why she always looks like she's laughing?! [But... she's always been a dog in his mind. This changes his whole perspective! And no, the laughing is probably because of that big, toothy smile.] You've got a good eye, kid. You see, when a mommy Deadpool and a sample of the Carnage symbiote love each other very much... No - okay, I birthed a symbiote baby and she's adorable. That's all you need to know.
About Tasky - Yeah, he's got a spooky scary skeleton mask. Looks great on Halloween and while dancing. [Is that last part true? Who can say?
Here we go with the card again. Wade pulls his wallet back out to hand out his business card. It's got his logo on the front and the back reads the following, with some prices listed-
Basic merc package (retrievals, infiltration, escorts, sexy bodyguard, etc.) Basic mouth package 😘 (free!) Event package - pop out of a cake at your event (armed) (surcharge: suit & tie) (surcharge: lingerie) Ethical* assassinations Fake fights - look cool in front of your friends & enemies! (real wounds optional) Emotional damage Kidnap your friend for their birthday prank TikTok cameo (surcharge: with choreography)
She could be a really cheerful girl, but the robust build, sloped back, and ear shape resemble a hyena. [ Both are good doggos, so in the end, it's not that much of a difference. It sure stops being that important to Lin Lie the moment Deadpool explains how she came to exist. He thinks Deadpool might be pulling his leg, but the man sounds sincere. In the face of doubt, he will opt for the kinder option and assume it's all true. In which case, ]
I would have loved to see your gender reveal party. Or species reveal. [ He didn't know symbiotes could get people pregnant, and that's kind of a horrifying mental image, so he's not going to think too hard about it. ]
While dancing? Well, all heroes seem to have a particular niche aesthetic, so the Skeleton mask isn't as weird as some others out there. It kind of gives him a goth vibe.
[ He's going to read the cards with interest, and the range of emotions displayed on Lin Lie's face goes from confused to amused to sometimes concerned. All in all, a very Deadpool-like card. ]
That's a very exhaustive list. Do people actually hire others to stage fake fights? I had no idea that was a real thing, I thought it only happened in bad romance movies.
Sure they do - In fact, I've done it myself! In fact, it was Tasky himself who helped me out. Well... I didn't pay him. More like he owed me a favor.
[Tony would probably prefer he not bring this up, but oh well. Wade takes a slice of the pizza when the server finally comes over and sets it down on the table.
On that thought, he considers Lin Lie carefully for a moment.]
Hm... Might be bad for my image if I let a fresh upstart like you publicly kick my ass. I'd have to charge you extra.
You staged a fight with him to get...what exactly? Someone's attention?
[ One would think that Deadpool on his own is eye-catching enough, giving his everything. Lin Lie eyes the pizza with interest, taking a slice for himself after having a sip of his drink. Before he can give it a go, though, he stares at Wade and huffs in amusement. ]
I don't want to hurt you! Fake or real. Also, I don't need to do that to impress anyone or anything of the sort. Frankly, I've been closer to death than a stable relationship.
[ Okay his pizza is getting cold, so he's going to take a small bite. And, ohhh, this is pretty tasty, and his brows lift in pleased surprise. He's going to take a second, much more generous bite. ]
[Wade finally shucks his mask up at least partially so that he can eat too. It reveals at least some of the scarred skin underneath up to his nose. It's a casual motion with no indication that he's particularly shy about it.]
Something like that... Let's just say he was helping me out with a work thing.
[He doesn't really want to get into the details of the whole Civil War fiasco so better leave it at that for now.
Anyway, Wade is touched that Lin Lie is so offended at the idea of hurting him when most people wouldn't think twice about it given the healing factor. He's a good one.]
C'mon, I find that hard to believe. An earnest kid like you? Lemme guess, your enemies scared away all your love interests?
[ He never considered what Deadpool might look like under the mask; he figured he wore it for the same reason Daredevil and others do: to keep their non-hero life separate and protect their loved ones. So it didn't occur to him until now that it could be because the skin is damaged. He blinks briefly at Wade as he munches on his pizza and doesn't ask questions.
Under the bandages, Lin Lie's hands and arms look pretty similar to what he can see of Wade's face, so in that regard, they match. ]
And he apparently enjoyed it so much that he decided to stick around. Sometimes it's odd how fast things change, uh?
[ Having a healing factor doesn't mean Wade won't feel the pain! Despite being the Iron Fist and meant to fight, Lie Lie doesn't like hurting people, especially if he knows them. ]
Nah, I didn't really have any to begin with. [ A small shrug as he finishes the pizza and goes for another slice. ] A friend of mine often joked that I needed to get out more and talk to girls, or boys, but I was always busy with college and looking for my missing dad and brother. Then, when I had to drop out because demons kept coming after me, having personal relationships became even trickier.
[ He makes a face at that, less because of the lack of a partner and more because of his missed education. Not wanting to bring the mood down, he adds casually. ]
I guess I'm just not dating material. I wouldn't know what to do on a date, anyway. Talk about dragons?
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ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
I mean this in the least insulting way possible, but your second daughter looks like a symbiote hyena. [ WHY IS THAT??? goes unsaid, but Lin Lie's face says it all. ] They both look really happy, so good job on the parenting.
[ See, he can say nice things too. ]
Sure, why not. I'll keep the card. I doubt I'd need any mercenary services now, but it will help me believe this is a real thing you're all doing. Does Taskmaster wear a very distinctive suit or something?
no subject
About Tasky - Yeah, he's got a spooky scary skeleton mask. Looks great on Halloween and while dancing. [Is that last part true? Who can say?
Here we go with the card again. Wade pulls his wallet back out to hand out his business card. It's got his logo on the front and the back reads the following, with some prices listed-
]
no subject
I would have loved to see your gender reveal party. Or species reveal. [ He didn't know symbiotes could get people pregnant, and that's kind of a horrifying mental image, so he's not going to think too hard about it. ]
While dancing? Well, all heroes seem to have a particular niche aesthetic, so the Skeleton mask isn't as weird as some others out there. It kind of gives him a goth vibe.
[ He's going to read the cards with interest, and the range of emotions displayed on Lin Lie's face goes from confused to amused to sometimes concerned. All in all, a very Deadpool-like card. ]
That's a very exhaustive list. Do people actually hire others to stage fake fights? I had no idea that was a real thing, I thought it only happened in bad romance movies.
no subject
[Tony would probably prefer he not bring this up, but oh well. Wade takes a slice of the pizza when the server finally comes over and sets it down on the table.
On that thought, he considers Lin Lie carefully for a moment.]
Hm... Might be bad for my image if I let a fresh upstart like you publicly kick my ass. I'd have to charge you extra.
no subject
[ One would think that Deadpool on his own is eye-catching enough, giving his everything. Lin Lie eyes the pizza with interest, taking a slice for himself after having a sip of his drink. Before he can give it a go, though, he stares at Wade and huffs in amusement. ]
I don't want to hurt you! Fake or real. Also, I don't need to do that to impress anyone or anything of the sort. Frankly, I've been closer to death than a stable relationship.
[ Okay his pizza is getting cold, so he's going to take a small bite. And, ohhh, this is pretty tasty, and his brows lift in pleased surprise. He's going to take a second, much more generous bite. ]
This stuff's pretty good.
no subject
Something like that... Let's just say he was helping me out with a work thing.
[He doesn't really want to get into the details of the whole Civil War fiasco so better leave it at that for now.
Anyway, Wade is touched that Lin Lie is so offended at the idea of hurting him when most people wouldn't think twice about it given the healing factor. He's a good one.]
C'mon, I find that hard to believe. An earnest kid like you? Lemme guess, your enemies scared away all your love interests?
no subject
Under the bandages, Lin Lie's hands and arms look pretty similar to what he can see of Wade's face, so in that regard, they match. ]
And he apparently enjoyed it so much that he decided to stick around. Sometimes it's odd how fast things change, uh?
[ Having a healing factor doesn't mean Wade won't feel the pain! Despite being the Iron Fist and meant to fight, Lie Lie doesn't like hurting people, especially if he knows them. ]
Nah, I didn't really have any to begin with. [ A small shrug as he finishes the pizza and goes for another slice. ] A friend of mine often joked that I needed to get out more and talk to girls, or boys, but I was always busy with college and looking for my missing dad and brother. Then, when I had to drop out because demons kept coming after me, having personal relationships became even trickier.
[ He makes a face at that, less because of the lack of a partner and more because of his missed education. Not wanting to bring the mood down, he adds casually. ]
I guess I'm just not dating material. I wouldn't know what to do on a date, anyway. Talk about dragons?